cosina
"I think being a woman is like being Irish." — Iris Murdoch
Finally, the party
Tags: 
butterflies
butterflies I wasn't really dreading it... I used to perform a lot, and I still talk in front of groups and so on, so I'm kind of used to butterflies in the stomach. You just treat it as an irrelevant feeling. (Seven of Nine would say: "Butterflies are irrelevant.") Anyway, I'm always kind of down before social events, I don't know why. They were mostly Nelson's friends, but I know them, I've met most of them several times...
As soon as a few people came, it was better, but at some point a lot of people arrived at once, and I realized: Critical mass! Now it's a party! Before then, people were talking, everybody was involved in something, no one was really eating or even drinking, despite my invitations...
Then, boom! everything started going. It was great. There was this blond guy John, who I kept ending up talking with, not exactly flirting. He is pretty hot. I kept looking at Nelson, but he didn't seem to mind. I mean, I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I realized it's hard for men and women to just be friends. I'd like to hang out with him. The physical closeness is nice. Do you know what I mean? I'm not talking about an affair or anything like that. If John were a woman, it wouldn't even be a question... we could just do stuff together. And I don't think that he is looking for sex with me any more than I am with him...
Oh, well. Apart from that, I could see how undernourished my social life is. Last night was the most fun I've had in a long time. I got to talk with a lot of people, conversations with one or two people, and then at the end almost everybody left, except for about 8 or 10, and we sat in a big circle and talked and talked and talked. It was great. I laughed my head off, heard some stories from Nelson that he'd never told me before. I love listening to him talk, and we don't get much chance for that because of Emma. If you're a parent, I think you know what I mean.
[Sigh.] I was never a party girl, but I'm really looking forward to the next one.
As soon as a few people came, it was better, but at some point a lot of people arrived at once, and I realized: Critical mass! Now it's a party! Before then, people were talking, everybody was involved in something, no one was really eating or even drinking, despite my invitations...
Then, boom! everything started going. It was great. There was this blond guy John, who I kept ending up talking with, not exactly flirting. He is pretty hot. I kept looking at Nelson, but he didn't seem to mind. I mean, I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I realized it's hard for men and women to just be friends. I'd like to hang out with him. The physical closeness is nice. Do you know what I mean? I'm not talking about an affair or anything like that. If John were a woman, it wouldn't even be a question... we could just do stuff together. And I don't think that he is looking for sex with me any more than I am with him...
Oh, well. Apart from that, I could see how undernourished my social life is. Last night was the most fun I've had in a long time. I got to talk with a lot of people, conversations with one or two people, and then at the end almost everybody left, except for about 8 or 10, and we sat in a big circle and talked and talked and talked. It was great. I laughed my head off, heard some stories from Nelson that he'd never told me before. I love listening to him talk, and we don't get much chance for that because of Emma. If you're a parent, I think you know what I mean.
[Sigh.] I was never a party girl, but I'm really looking forward to the next one.
No thingies - what?
